Tag Archives: School

Woo Hoo! Back To School! (Part 2)

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Part 1 of my back-to-school blog covered basics of ensuring a smooth transition for you and your child(ren) as a new school year begins. This post focuses on the back-to-school “jitters” and those children who truly get anxious.

Not only do students encounter beginning-of-school jitters, but teachers and school staff also feel the emotions of a new year, a new beginning.  I worked in schools for 30 years and can safely affirm that I rarely had a good night’s sleep the night before school started.  It’s a natural phenomenon to get excited, scared, eager, or overwhelmed at the start of something new. Although some accept change with ease and slip into new experiences with little fanfare, others just – well – worry, stress, and get anxious.

The following tips (extrapolated from NASP “Back to School Transitions: Tips for Parents”) are to help those of you with children who are beginning school soon and tend to get anxious.

  • The first few days may be rough; try not to overreact. Particularly the younger student may suffer separation anxiety after a summer with parents and loose schedules. School personnel are trained to deal with children who may have a hard time adjusting.  Best advice:  Drop off your child without lingering, say “I love you and will be back at the end of the day,” then leave.
  • Talk to your child and let them know that you care. Model optimism and confidence and reinforce your belief in their ability to cope. Tell them that it’s o.k. to be nervous about starting something new, but he/she will be fine once they become more familiar with their new surroundings. Best advice:  Send positive, short notes in their lunch box or backpack and listen to any concerns when they arrive home. Reinforce positives as they discuss their school day.
  • Try to remain calm and positive about any bad experiences from the previous year. Those who had a difficult school year may have more anxiety about their return to school. Children who were teased or bullied, those encountering academic problems or any other difficulties may be reluctant to start another year with a positive attitude. Best advice: Talk to school personnel before school begins about this and then reassure your child that this is a new year and a fresh start. Reinforce that you will be working with the school to ensure a smooth school year and prevention of further issues.
  • Give your child strategies to cope if they are feeling anxious. Be open with the school and keep open communication with your child’s teachers. Encourage your child to tell you or the teacher if problems continue.  Best advice: Maintain open communication with your child and your child’s teacher.
  • Try to allow your child to meet with other students and school friends before the first day to ease your child into the new academic year. Best advice: Encourage your older child to contact friends, or if your child is younger, call the parents yourself to schedule play dates.
  • Plan to volunteer in your child’s classroom periodically throughout the year. This reinforces to your child that you are interested in their learning and that school and family are communicating. Additionally, you are building relationships with teachers, classmates, and other school personnel, as well as learning about classroom routines and atmosphere. Best advice: Even if you can’t regularly volunteer, periodic parent help is often welcomed and only benefits your child.

If your child’s anxiety becomes problematic, extreme in nature, or lasts for an extended period, make an appointment to speak with the teacher or school psychologist. More in-school support may be indicated or other resources in the school or community may be suggested. Remember: most children are very resilient and with support, encouragement, and communication will be able to have a successful school year.

Leave me a comment if you liked this entry.  I’d love to hear from you!  Any suggestions for future entries?  Let me know.

Mary Sherlach: School Psychologist, Teacher, Hero

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This is a beginning for me in many ways. After 30 years in public education, I am developing a private practice and launching my first EVER blog. This first post is dedicated to the memory of Mary Sherlach, school psychologist, who was killed in the shootings at Sandy Hook Elementary School when she charged out of a meeting upon hearing gunshots in the hallway.

While I never actually met Mary, as a fellow school psychologist, I feel like I knew her personally. We were similar in many ways—nearly identical in age; both married with two children; she was to retire soon while I had recently retired from a nearby school district; and most notably, from what I’ve read, we both cherished our careers working with children and families and felt honored to be able to help others.

I was deeply impacted by the horrific nature of her death. Having been in similar such meetings countless times during the course of my career, I continue to visualize this scenario over and over in my own mind.  As I listened to news reports and read endless articles about Mary’s act of courage, tears flowed from recognition of her instinctual response to run into the face of danger in order to help others, with no second thoughts about herself or her own safety.

But even though intellectually I understand her actions, asking “why” is a normal response to sudden tragedies, and mental health professionals aren’t immune to questioning.

Over the days and weeks following the Newtown incident, I repeatedly questioned (and continue to question) why this talented woman who dedicated her entire career serving children and families, a woman acclaimed by colleagues, family and students, could in one minute be likely discussing a student’s future and in the next be so violently taken from this earth. What began as a typical day with Mary working quietly behind the scenes to help create a successful school experience for the children at Sandy Hook, ended with her name splashed across the front pages of newspapers across the country.

As time passes, I realize that my strong reaction is not only for the senseless deaths of those 20 precious children and 6 staff members, but also for Mary’s bravery, her display of amazing courage and caring, and how proud I am to be a school psychologist like her.

Mary was quickly and rightfully labeled a hero for her selfless actions. And while I enjoy the luxury of embarking on this next phase in my life, I dedicate this to Mary Sherlach, school psychologist, wife, mother, friend, teacher, hero.

Please feel free to respond with your thoughts and/or comments. I welcome your feedback.